I do not know alot about sex but I know more than I did last yeer when I knew less than I do now. I had a book all about sex a while back called All About Sex wich was cool and I learned lots just by looking at the  pictures lots and that was one book that you could even look at upside down and enjoy lots without reading. I am gonna read the book some day soon but right now I just want to take in all the piktures wich are awesume.

There are lots of sexual positons you can have when you have sex and these are the guy on top of the girl which is my favorite one and the girl on top of the guy which is also my favorite one and than there is the one where the guy and girl are back to back and try to guess what each one is doing which is kind of fun but gets boring after the first hour.

Oh yeah before you have sex you have to whisper stuff in her ears like I love you and you are so pretty and you are so sweet and other crap like that. Also do not grab her things as soon as you sit down on the bed with her. And do not have intercoarse until she says she is ready. You will know she is ready when she says something like Oh God I am ready or now now now.

Before you have sex with a girl you have to do fourplay which is really boring but if you do not do that the girl will hall off and hit you with her shoe or use her bra as a slingshot ha ha. Make sure you have nice music playing to get romantic to and do not make the mistake I made of playing Black Sabbaths Master Of Reality record and in stead stick with nice stuff like Kenny G or Kenny Rogers exept that song by him called You Got To Know When To Hold Them because that song gets guys to excited. You also have to learn not to say things unapropriate while being romantic so do not say stuff like I had really bad gas yesterday or your breath smells worser than my dogs breath and he is dead cause that turns a girl off real quick.

Okay once a month a girl has a thing that is called a dot. The teknical term for this I think is menustrationing. She gets the dot for about seven days and than the dot goes away and you can have sex with her again once her stuff has cleared up good. Until it clears up good I suggest you stay the hell away from her. That is all I have to say about dots because it is starting to make me sick.

When you have sex you should always use protection and use a safe. Not the kind you put money in but the kind you put your thing in and it is made out of rubber and it is called a rubber which makes cents. I think some one told me once that they come in different sizes wich is cool and the sizes are small medium large extra large and holy cow. Just do not go to crazy when you wore the safe or it will break and than your girlfrend will be pregnanted and you will have to be responsible and get a job or at least help her find one.

Okay so far you have learned about safety sex and sexual positions and fourplay and now we will leern about how babies are formed. The guy has this stuff and it is called sperm and when he is really excited he will let the sperm out of his thing and it will enter the girls thing. Then it races down her thing one hundred miles per hour up the servix into the uterine cavities and the fulopian tubes into the ovary and there are about fifty or sixty of the sperm things and they fight like hell and only one gets to go inside of the ovam and all of the other sperms die or drip out of her thing and fall on to the bed sheets. Than she goes to the doctor when she does not get her dot and the doctor checks her and tells her she is pregnant and then the woman screems with joy unless she did not want to get pregnated than she just screems. Nine weeks later she will give birth and there is no pain now when the baby comes out now becauze the doctors give her aspirins wich is cool.

That is all I can think of about sex to teech you for now and I hope you learned something and remember to practise safe sex and you should always use a rubber unless you are by your self and than you do not need to use one wich is cool.
 

Your frend,
Gus